Personal Development
Personal Development
The Fear of Success
The Ultimate in Exercise, Professional Advice for Hiring a Personal Trainer Living by the Golden Dozen
The Fear of Success
It Could Be Keeping You from Achieving Your Dreams
We've all heard the term, but can there really be such a thing as a fear of success? 
The sound of it is not only counterintuitive it's slightly farfetched. After all, who wouldn't want to feel successful in every aspect of their life? But, the sad reality is that for many people, it's an everyday emotion. And, like most fears, it has the ability to squash our happiness and keep us from achieving our dreams.
We wanted to find out more on the subject, so we enlisted the help of Juanita-Beth Morgan. A certified clinical hypnotherapist for over 17 years, Morgan has done extensive work in the area of success. From performers and athletes to everyday folk, Morgan has used her skills as a behavioralist and hypnotherapist to help people overcome their fear of success, putting them on a path toward fulfillment and achievement.
Where does it come from?
Morgan begins with the following assertion, "The fear of success is an emotional encumbrance, causing us to experience and receive much less than we deserve in order to enjoy a successful life."
So, exactly how does someone become fearful of his or her own success? According to Morgan, the genesis for sufferers is always different. What's the same, however, is the emergence of a pattern. Once we've experienced success it becomes much easier to keep heading in that direction. But the same is also true for failure, or what we perceive as failure.
The good news here is that patterns can be changed, but Morgan points out that it requires certain steps to be taken, as well as some very honest soul-searching and self-questioning. She recommends that everyone start by forming a personal definition of success for each aspect of his or her life. Morgan claims that not doing so will result in identifying with the standards put forth by others, or having no standards at all.
The next step to understanding this fear is realizing that success in any endeavor is all about the choices you make. As she puts it, "It is assuming the attitude to identify, qualify and only refer to a successful strategy when opportunity knocks."
Morgan says that no matter who we are, successful role models help us to gain access to successful choices and strategies. She points out that the majority of successful people have very positive role models in their life. But, there's a little more to the story. Morgan says it is equally important to observe the choices of unsuccessful people, and then avoid these choices at all costs.
Before we venture further into Ms. Morgan's ideas about treatment for the fear of success, it's important to examine some of the telltale signs of its existence.
What are the signs?
Morgan says there are two general signs that someone may have a fear of success. The first is a perpetual state of unhappiness. She says that while it is also a symptom for other emotional issues, unhappiness due to a lack of success is oftentimes compounded by the sufferer's inability to identify the cause.
The second and more telling general sign is an emotional framework that consists mainly of yearnings and unexpressed desires. "I've always wanted to do that," or "I should be doing this," are two types of commonly spoken phrases.
In terms of more tangible or specific signs that someone may have a fear of success, Morgan put forth the following list:
• Not finishing what you start or abandoning opportunities for success
• Over-committing to an excessive amount of endeavors
• Perfectionism
• Procrastination
• Substituting ideas for action
• Hypochondria
• Placing blame on anything or anyone available
• Self-sabotage or curbing positive choices associated with successful strategies
• Not returning phone calls and emails, or pulling no-shows without a qualified reason
• Nostalgia in the form of a connection to disappointments in the past
By themselves, these signs can also be symptoms of other issues. What's important to focus on is the frequency in which they occur, the combinations in which they appear, and how closely they relate the subject of success.
How is it treated?
"It needs to be treated very seriously," sparks Morgan, likening it to the jailer who holds the key to your freedom. She went on to say, "The world is filled with people who feel unsuccessful and many of them actually appear successful to others."
Going back to her belief that ridding yourself of fear is dependant on breaking a pattern of bad choices, Morgan suggests that you honestly evaluate all the areas of your life based on your definition of success. Regarding the areas where you are satisfied – leave them alone! On the other hand, areas with intense yearnings and desires need to be brought up to par.
Recall how you succeeded in other areas of your life and see if you can reapply those techniques to the areas that need improving. Don't forget that positive patterns have a high probability of working for you again.
On the other hand, you must also have a willingness to change the patterns that have not been working. She's quick to point out the famous quote from Albert Einstein, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."
Morgan goes on to say that it is not enough to simply have a dream. You must also have a plan. According to Morgan, it is surprising how many people never combine the two. "Follow your plan slowly and progressively advance your interests," she asserts, adding that it's important to pace yourself and not burn out. She reminds us that the inability to pace oneself is a legitimate form of self-sabotage.
No matter if they are personal or professional, you must write down your desires, as well as the first step necessary to make them happen. When establishing the subsequent steps within your plan, Morgan recommends asking yourself one question – If I take this step will it further my success? Yes answers indicate the forming of a successful strategy.
Ms. Morgan adds that if you are able to utilize her recommendations, you may not need professional support. The opposite, however, is also true. It's important to know that the longer you stay in a pattern, the harder it is to break it.
Our last question to Morgan had to do with the fear of failure, and how it differs from the fear of success. Oddly enough, she says that while the two fears are polarized they do share many of the same warning signs. She claims that a professional diagnosis typically lies with which polarity is the more prominent occupation of the sufferer, failure or success. Morgan says that treating a fear of failure shares many of the techniques she outlined for treating a fear of success.
We, along with Ms. Morgan, would like to emphasize that this article is not meant as a dissertation. Instead, it is a means of shedding light on an issue that affects many people. If any of it seems familiar, you may want to consider seeking the advice of a professional. Until then, be proactive and utilize her suggestions for turning your negative patterns into successful strategies.
Here's to your success!
Juanita-Beth Morgan, C.H.T is a graduate of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, having continued her studies at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute, under the direction of Walter E. Brackelmanns, M.D., Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA.
Morgan is a member of the National Guild of Hypnotists, American Hypnosis Foundation, American Counseling Association and the Hypnotherapist Union. She is a recognized public speaker on a national level and is available for speaking engagements for groups of any size. Always accepting new patients, she can be reached at (213) 389-2715. Ms. Morgan asks that anyone contacting her for an appointment to mention YOU Magazine as your referral.
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The Ultimate in Exercise
Professional Advice for Hiring a Personal Trainer
The Ultimate in Exercise
Professional Advice for Hiring a Personal Trainer
As the weather continues to get warmer we have no choice but to trade in our sweaters and jeans for tank tops and swimsuits. In other words, the ability to cover up our physiques diminishes with every passing day. As a result, many of us view the summer months as a time to improve our bodies in order to look our absolute best. But that's easier said than done, right?
Before you give up on the idea of improving your physique, you should ask yourself if you've done everything in your power to make it happen. Eating right and putting in time at the gym is a good start, but for many people it's still not enough. If this sounds familiar you may want to consider seeking out the help of an expert. In this case, the expert would be a certified personal trainer.
The problem with hiring a personal trainer is that many folks don't know where to begin, or what to expect. To shed some light on the subject, YOU Magazine sat down with the owner and creator of one of LA's hottest private workout facilities. We're speaking of Juliet Kaska, certified personal trainer and a bona fide expert on all things exercise.
Meet Juliet
A dancer, a marathon runner and an avid participant in outdoor sports, Juliet Kaska has been exercising all of her life. But, it was during her sophomore year of college when she hired her first personal trainer, an experience so positive that she decided to learn the trade. By 1999, Kaska had become certified as a personal trainer and began working for one of largest gyms in the country.
Kaska cites her work with a female client who'd just come off knee surgery as the genesis of what she does now. With an innate understanding of the human body, and a firm grasp of the client's physical issues, she designed a regimen specific to her needs. Kaska's program not only resulted in the client's full recovery, but it also helped her avoid a second surgery.
In 2000, Kaska started her own business of training people one-on-one. She built a name for herself and in 2005 she opened Emerson Hall Fitness in West Hollywood, California. Celebrities such as Madonna, Jessica Alba, Pink, Kate Walsh, Rachel Lee Cook, Stacy Keibler, Jessica Simpson and Robert Downey, Jr. have all worked out at her gym.
Emerson Hall is not a corporate gym, nor a trainer's gym. Rather, it is a private facility staffed by trainers that Kaska handpicks for their overall fitness acumen and specific skill sets. Kaska does not sell memberships to her gym. Instead, she takes appointments for one-on-one sessions, matching each client with a trainer that best serves their individual needs.
"Some people want to lose weight while others are looking to strengthen their body, or rehab an injury," says Kaska. She added that no matter a person's goals, she's got a trainer that's right for them. Depending on the client's needs, sometimes it can take more than one trainer to do the job. Teamwork is Kaska's trademark and in terms of personal training, it is a concept that is unique to Emerson Hall.
Advice from the expert
We began by asking Juliet about the advantages to hiring a personal trainer. "You're getting the expertise of someone who knows fitness," replied Kaska, adding that anyone can buy an exercise magazine or DVD, but few people are able to effectively apply the information. According to Kaska, "A good trainer will understand where your body is compensated and how it needs to improve."
Accountability is her second point. When you are scheduling appointments and paying for an expert's time, the likelihood of blowing off a workout diminishes. She also says that during a workout a client will never push him or herself as hard as a personal trainer can. In addition, the trainer provides an objective "third eye" in terms of your performance and improvement. You should know that Kaska herself has a trainer.
Regarding the questions we should ask when hiring a trainer, Kaska told us that you should first find out if the person is certified. But here's the trick. You also need to find out how they are certified. Our expert explained that there are over 600 different certifications, but only a handful of them are actually accredited by the NCCA. Since many trainers don't know themselves, here is the list of accredited certifications:
• American Council on Exercise
• American College of Sports Medicine
• Cooper Institute
• International Fitness Professionals Association
• National Academy of Sports Medicine
• National Council of Strength and Fitness
• National Exercise and Sports Trainers Association
• National Exercise Trainers Association
• National Federation of Personal Trainers
• National Strength and Conditioning Association
The next question to ask is do they hold a college degree in any related subjects? She says extra points can be awarded to trainers with backgrounds in either exercise science or physiology. It's also important to find out a trainer's area or areas of expertise, as well as how they've helped past clients achieve their goals. Doing so will help you choose the right trainer for your specific needs.
Kaska advises to never hire a trainer based on their own chiseled physique, as it's not an indicator that they can do the same for you. Instead she recommends approaching the process the same way you would if hiring an employee. Start with personal recommendations and interview at least three to five trainers before making your decision. Ask each trainer for references and make sure to call them.
Find out how many years of training experience a trainer has and the places where he or she has been working. You also want to find out if they are insured, as well as if they are certified in CPR. In terms of what you'll pay, Kaska says the national average for a trainer is between 45 and 65 dollars an hour. She says it's important to know that number increases to between 85 and 125 dollars an hour in metropolitan areas.
We concluded our interview by asking for a little advice on how to prepare both mentally and physically before hiring a trainer. "Get over the idea of having to lose weight before you start working out with a trainer," she claims, likening it to cleaning your house before the cleaning service arrives.
Instead, Kaska suggests getting a physical. Not only will it clear you for starting a workout program, but it will also help to benchmark yourself. Weight, body mass index, blood pressure and cholesterol levels can all see positive changes as the result of working out. Having them checked prior to starting a program will allow you and the trainer to see how far you've come.
Kaska says if you're really nervous about your level of conditioning, it may be a good idea to start a walking program 4 to 6 weeks before beginning with a trainer. She recommends starting out by walking around your neighborhood for 10 minutes every day. Increase your time by two to five minutes every week.
Out of all the advice we received from Kaska, the next bit is not only the most interesting, but also the most potentially beneficial. Believe it or not, Kaska recommends changing trainers on a regular basis, as doing so keeps both the client and the trainer from burning out or developing bad tendencies.
She suggests hiring a trainer for a predetermined period of three to six months. Do so with a list of specific goals and the notion that you'll be moving on to another trainer upon completion. Kaska says that a nice touch is to offer an incentive or a small gift to the trainer if your goals are met. When your time with the trainer is done, you can ask them for referrals. Chances are they will have someone perfect to recommend.
We hope that you found Juliet's advice as useful as we have. Be sure to watch YOU correspondent, Jill Wilderman's interview with Juliet, as it will include some of her favorite swimsuit season exercises that anyone can do at home.
Juliet Kaska has two accredited certifications: The National Academy of Sports Medicine and The American Council on Exercise. She is Pilates certified as well as CPR certified. Kaska is also a member of IDEA, a professional organization for personal trainers; IHRSA, a professional organization for gym owners; and PMA, a professional organization for Pilates instructors and studio owners.
Juliet was chosen to be one of this year's co-hosts for OK Magazine's Body and Soul, a day-long event where the public participated in seminars and classes, and got a first look at some of the latest exercise products.
Juliet Kaska's Emerson Hall Fitness is located at 8816 Melrose Avenue in West Hollywood, California. The phone number is (310) 274-0700 and you can visit her website by logging on to www.julietkaska.com.
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Living by the Golden Dozen
By: Tom Hopkins, www.tomhopkins.com
Here's the best way I've ever found to pull the best performance out of yourself. It's an extremely simple method. Not easy; simple. First, hang copies of these twelve words where you'll see them at work, in your car, and at your home: I MUST DO THE MOST PRODUCTIVE THING POSSIBLE AT EVERY GIVEN MOMENT.
Now comes the important part: Dedicate yourself to living that declaration. It doesn't help to look at those words once in a while and think, "That's what I'm going to start doing just as soon as I can get myself together." If you really want to achieve, start living by those precious dozen words now.
Doing so requires only four steps. But let's get one thing clear: Doing the most productive thing possible means just that -- the most productive thing. Not look busy. Not get by. But doing the most productive thing possible at that given moment, no matter how distasteful, hard, or worrisome the thing might be. This often means facing up to an unpleasant task, or heading into a likely rejection. It means shooting for the top when you know you should, but are afraid to. It means preparing when you need to prepare and doing when you need to do.
That's why I say it isn't easy, and why so few people follow it. It is simple, though. Anyone can do it; you just have to want to.
Consciously repeat these four steps minute by minute until they become second nature:
(1) Tell yourself, "I must do the most productive thing possible at every given moment."
(2) Decide what the most productive thing is.
(3) Do it.
(4) When you've pushed that thing as far forward as you can right now, go back to step one, and start over.
Don't be a fanatic. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do at a given moment is to sit down with your favorite person and spend an hour watching the sun go down. Sometimes the most productive thing possible will be exercising, sleeping, or taking a well-deserved vacation. And, very often, the most productive thing you can do this minute will be the last thing you want to do right now. The edge between winners and losers cuts sharpest at this precise point.
Winners almost always do what they think is the most productive thing possible at every given moment; losers almost never do. When you look at what winners and losers actually do moment by moment, the difference between these two divisions of the human race really is that small. But the results of those small differences keep adding to each other at every given moment until they reach a critical size. Then they start multiplying.
Look at the results obtained by anyone you know who does the most productive thing possible with most of his or her moments. Then, look at the results obtained by all the people you know who'll do what's easiest rather than what's most productive every chance they get.
You'll see an enormous difference. What's been accumulated and multiplied by many moments spent productively will be knowledge, skill, health, contacts, opportunities-and at least the beginnings of wealth. What's been accumulated and multiplied by many moments given to doing the easiest thing possible? Perhaps some debt for pleasures consumed and forgotten, some extra pounds around the middle, and some time moved from one's future to one's past creating some missed opportunities. Little or nothing of value will be retained.
We live moment by moment, not year by year. Do the most productive thing you can think of with each and every moment as you live it, and your future is assured. Do that all day every working day, and your progress will soon astound everyone who knows you. More importantly, you'll be astounded, delighted-and justifiably proud of yourself.
By: Tom Hopkins, www.tomhopkins.com
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